These Loss Parent designs were really the spark that lit my fire of creativity and gave me the inspiration to try and help fund Operation Babyspaceship through products with messages and images that could start conversations and work towards normalization of the struggles of infertility and child-loss. But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself a little here.
With my @operation.babyspaceship account on instagram, I follow a lot of infertility, surrogacy and pregnancy loss accounts. In many cases (like mine) these things overlap. One day, I was sitting on the couch and scrolling like I usually do and I saw this tee shirt that said Dead Baby Mama Club with a broken heart. I resonated with the sentiment… I am part of that club! But I couldn’t picture myself wearing that shirt.
Yes, pregnancy and child loss are uncomfortable and some may say that others should be able to sit with us in that discomfort. For me, especially growing up with friends who loved to tell ‘dead baby’ jokes, I want my losses to be exposed in a more gentle way. I thought about what imagery and wording I would feel comfortable emblazoning across my chest.
It didn’t take long before I switched to my drawing app and opened up a drawing that I put together for a late term pregnancy loss support group that I am part of. I took the elements from that, a woman in profile with a hand on her flat belly and a heart with angel wings. In the image for the group, there are many hearts, each with the name of an angel baby whose Loss Mama is in the group.
I refer to myself as a Loss Mama. To me the image I put together for my group is a gentle reminder of the strength and fortitude we develop after a loss in order to move forward with our grief in a world that cannot see that our heart is now split between this world and the next.
I quickly put together a mock-up and sent it to my hubby, Malcolm, along with a quick little note about the plan that was forming in my head as I drew.
Over the next week or so the plan and this design began to get refined. I worked on the heart and wings and then Malcolm figured out the typeface and placement of the text. We often work as a team and play to our strengths!
As you can see, in the final design, Malcolm and I agreed that really, the heart and words were really all that were needed for an impactful design. Removing the Loss Mama also afforded us the opportunity to make shirts for other types of Loss Parents. Of course, this can also go well on mugs and an array of other items.
This is also the most variable design I have created. Loss looks different for all bereaved parents and my hope is that these variations can help this design resonate with the most people.
Loss Parent Variations
Loss Mama
This is the term that resonates with me. This was the first way that I had heard or read bereaved motherhood titled and it stuck with me. I know that not all bereaved mothers associate this title for themselves. I also know that mothers aren’t the only parent affected by pregnancy and child loss.
Check out our products with the Loss Mama design:
Loss Mama Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
Loss Mama Women’s Short Sleeve T-Shirt
Loss Mama Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Loss Mom
I felt that keeping the word loss was essential for this design. It is a powerful word that touches on the depth of the experience of bereaved parents. It is ongoing. The loss continues through the years, through the missed milestones. The loss is always there, always present. Even without other children calling us Mom, our motherhood is always there too.
My hope in creating the Loss Mom variation is that Mom may resonate with mothers where Mama doesn’t sound or feel like them.
Check out our products with the Loss Mom design:
Loss Mom Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
Loss Mom Women’s Short Sleeve T-Shirt
Loss Mom Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Loss Papa
Fathers lose children as well and they are also forever changed by the experience. I felt it was important to include fathers in this design.
To me, Loss Papa felt like a good counterpart to Loss Mama. I don’t know why, but in my mind it sounds better than Loss Dada. Of course, if there is a desire for Loss Dada I will make that as well.
Check out our products with the Loss Papa design:
Loss Papa Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
Loss Papa Short Sleeve T-Shirt
Loss Papa Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Loss Dad
Papa might be even more polarizing than Mama, so I wanted to make sure that we had options that appeal to many loss parents. Loss Dad was actually the first of this series that Malcolm completed the text for.
Check out our products with the Loss Dad design:
Loss Dad Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
Loss Dad Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Conclusion
I really appreciate you taking the time to read through this blog post and for taking an interest in the products we are creating for the infertility, surrogacy, and pregnancy and child loss communities.
My designs are made with love and care and I hope that this shows as you read about the process I went through for each and every design.
As I mentioned before, my reasoning for creating all of these designs is in part to help fund our surrogacy journey (which you can follow on my blog and on instagram) and to gently raise awareness and start conversations about issues that affect far more people than we may realize.
