A baby born after a loss is known as a rainbow baby because after the storm comes the rainbow. I can’t speak to everyone else’s experience, but I have seen many storms that didn’t end with a rainbow. Likewise, not every loss is followed by rainbow babies. It is still possible to have a rainbow life though.
What follows the storm of loss looks different for every loss parent. For Malcolm and me, the years since our first loss have been filled with another storm of loss, moving, career changes, a storm of illness and surgeries for me, traveling, a puppy, tears, laughter, love, family, friendship, therapy, growth, and rebirth. I would say that at this point we do have a rainbow life even though as I write this we have no rainbow babies earth-side.
We don’t get over the loss of a child, we grow around it. It changes us. There are times we think we will never feel joy again. With time, and talking, and processing, and support joy peeks through the clouds again. Many of us need more help than our families and partners can give, if you need help to navigate the storm of your loss, please reach out. The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Centre offers support for bereaved families in Canada. In the US you can contact Share. You can also seek out support through facebook groups, instagram, contacting your medical professional to connect you with counselling or using an online counselling service like betterhelp (not sponsored). You are worthy of your rainbow life and as a Loss Mama myself, I can assure you that it is possible and getting help to reach it is normal.
Rainbow Life and Rainbow Babies Design Process
If you look around this site a bit and check out our story, you will know that Malcolm and I are hoping that through the miraculous scientific wonder of Surrogacy that we will be able to raise a child of our own.
The reality of infertility, and repeated child-loss is that not all journeys end with a healthy baby. When you open yourself up to trying (in whatever form that takes) for a rainbow baby, you are opening yourself up for the possibility, not the guarantee.
Another reality is that after loss not everyone wants to open themselves up to that possibility again because it is not a guarantee and you are also opening yourself up to the possibility of another loss.
In my own journey I have spent a lot of time trying to process what life after a loss looks like when there is no rainbow baby. I used to think that the only possible rainbow was a baby. I now know that isn’t true.
The purpose of this design is to take a step to normalizing the many positive paths of life after loss that exist, and that rainbow lives are possible after the storm whether you raise more children or not.
Trying to find the right words…
I knew what I wanted to draw right away and this was one of the first drawings that I created for ThreadHunters. I struggled to find the right wording though.
The first try that I made had some transparencies and that could be tricky for printing on a bunch of products. When I showed the tag line “not all rainbows are babies” to people they told me it was a bit confusing. Even with Life after loss under the image, it still wasn’t clear… So I went back to the drawing board to think of a good concise way of saying: After a loss there are other rainbows that you can have even if you don’t have a rainbow baby.
I tidied up the image and added clouds to the ends of the rainbow. I replaced the transparent aspects of the design with solid colours and I tried a new set of words: “not all rainbow lives have rainbow babies”. The feedback I received is that at first glance the message can get lost because ‘lives’ can be read two different ways. So, I went back to the drawing board and tried “Not Every Rainbow Life Has Rainbow Babies”. This time the feedback was better and so that is how we ended up with the final products you see on this site.
Not Every Rainbow Life Has Rainbow Babies
I really hope that this design resonates with bereaved parents and that it offers hope and helps to normalize the myriad experiences of life after loss and the variety of ways that rainbows can be found after the storm of loss.
You can check out these items that feature this design:
Not Every Rainbow Life… Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt
Not Every Rainbow Life… Short Sleeve T-Shirt
Not Every Rainbow Life… Women’s Short Sleeve T-Shirt
Not Every Rainbow Life… Unisex Hoodie
Not Every Rainbow Life… Crop Sweatshirt
Not Every Rainbow Life… Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Not Every Rainbow Life… White Glossy Mug
Not Every Rainbow Life… Bubble-free Stickers
